28 October

Our last chance to finish any gardening, and we made a good stab at it, but I was really lethargic - it all felt far more effort than I had within me (a marked contrast to in the summer; I felt superhuman then!). We had to leave the gîte because it had already been rented to other people before we had booked, and had booked a hotel just for one night. We knew that we had to get to Bar-sur-Aube to have showers & get changed before going to Chaource to dinner with Sergine & Patrick. If we hadn't had so many other things to think about, we'd have booked a hotel in Bar-sur-Seine! That would have cut out 2 return journeys between Bar-sur-Aube and Bar-sur-Seine, but hey-ho! Something about penguins...!

We'd worked out that we needed to leave the house by 4.30, but at about 3.15 I'd really had enough. We had bought another padlock and wanted to get spare keys cut, so we used that as our justification to pack up early! There were 2 key-cutting places: one was closed for holidays and the other had hundreds of blanks, but not for our size key! It made me feel that chocolate might be the answer (and I'm not that kind of person normally; I can't remember the last time I bought chocolate [as opposed to eating a bit that someone else had given me] - not this year certainly). When you don't eat anything regularly, it's difficult to know what to choose, but in the end we decided on milk chocolate with praline & hazelnuts. It was disgusting (so sweet and teeth gumming), whilst being just what I wanted!

We had a lovely time with Sergine and Patrick, and the food was wonderful, but I can't remember a thing that we ate (didn't write yesterday's & today's blog contemporaneously like the earlier posts). That's no comment on the food - I bet David will know; must remember to ask him. Sergine is in the (equally slow) process of renovating her house, so parts are lovely and finished, some is 'work-in-progress' and some is most definitely 'before'. It will be wonderful when it is finished; what she has achieved so far is marvellous. It was comforting to see what can be achieved.

27 October

For some reason, we felt a bit deflated... I had plenty of gardening to do (thigh-high crucifers to hack back, for a start & another 125 bulbs to plant; I had wanted to do the patio, but we'd lost the will to live, so no chance), and we still needed to finish cleaning the fireplace, but just couldn't summon sufficient energy.

We had a visit at the house from Sergine (immobilière) - she'd called us to see if she could come round. It seemed a bit odd; we were scheduled to go to her house for dinner the next day. It turns out "Mr Laid-Back" isn't; he'd phoned up CAIG and given a roasting to Isabelle and Sergine. We really weren't happy with that; we hadn't felt we'd 'gelled' with him as well as the other gentlemen, but that sealed the issue. How dare he phone and insult our friends - he's not even working for us?! He had said that Sergine shouldn't have recommended Dominique and why was she letting down her clients, and a load more besides. I hope we managed to convince her that we hadn't wanted him to do this, and apologise enough (although that we should be apologising for a 'professional' didn't sit well). When Sergine recommended Dominique to us, he was doing perfectly good work for her and she had no reason to doubt he would continue to work well. Even when he started working for us, it all seemed OK at first (the enlarged doorway between the kitchen and entrance hall looks just what we'd hoped for), it was just the slow progress that bothered us. Later, everything started to look rushed (and we now know it was done in a hurry; not just looked like it - neighbours in rural France are a fabulous source of information!). It was only after Sergine had told Dominique to stop working for her (for the slow progress/not turning up when he said he would), that his work started to cause us concern.

Well, M. Jacquard has ruled himself out of the selection process. He made a big point of telling us that he is the only ISO 9001 (2?) certified project manager in the Aube. But if he alienates people outside of the work, how would he get on with workmen? We have a (tiny) hope that we may get some refund from Dominique, but if M. Jacquard has spoken to him already, I think he will have ruined that for us!

We went for apéritifs with the Bouzenards; it was nice to just have an evening without thinking about or discussing the house, except in the lightest of detail. Mme Bouzenard is looking a little better, but I'm not sure if that's just the steroids plumping out her face. She says she's feeling a bit better, and is eating again, so we're keeping fingers crossed for her swift recovery.

Going back to the gîte and an open fire reminded us why we are doing this; we did need reminding! I often think you appreciate things more when you've had to wait/struggle to achieve them, so we're going to love it when we have the house how we want it (whenever that will be).

26 October, later...

The good news is:
All our experts agree
The bad news is:
All our experts agree that Dominique D's (OK, let's name him [if not shame him!]: Dominique DROUOT of 11, rue Desirée Briden, Troyes) work is rubbish. [Note: Rubbish here is a polite euphemism for a heap of #2's!]

This afternoon M. Beauvineau (for whom I couldn't hink of a nickname - perhaps he be "Mr Urban Warrior"? See later), showed up as part of a double act with M. Dufour, his partner in crime. [Tweedledee & Tweedledum would be unfair, as would any other comedy double acts I can think of; they were both really nice blokes.] Happily "Mr Urban Warrior" (or maybe "Parker"? See later) had read the maître d'œuvre/philosopher handbook and showed up in black combat pants, black military (paramilitary?) style jumper & salt-and-pepper van Dyke beard. Clearly and urban terrorist; but let's not use that work. Nihilism/anarchy are OK, guerilla just (maybe) the right side of borderline but not out-and-out terrorism (these days). I'm not sure why I'm thinking Tony Benn when it comes to his eyebrows...? But if it's a Tony who sticks to his principles, I'll take that as a good sign (rather than the other sort!). [Later I realise that he was actually the human incarnation of Parker from Thunderbirds, dressed for the 21st century!]

Sadly, M. Dufour had come as an accountant. What was he thinking of? Clearly he lets his mum buy his clothing - why else would he be wearing a stripy (work, not trendy) shirt & stripy (work, not pin-striped denim or elephant cord) suit pants? It turns out "Mr Urban Warrior"/"Parker" will be the one who will deal with us if we choose this double act, so that's OK; have got used to the ideal of philosopher-as-project manager by now.

Saw M. Lorin: unfortunately "Mr Asterix" was a no-show; perhaps he was off fighting the Romans with his partner in crime, who (through no fault of his own/genetic makeup) will have to be "Mr Obelix"! At least if he's let us down at this stage we're not going to waste any time considering him as a runner.

Nice to see M. Lorin who, despite our being absent, didn't steal our wallets/passports/mobile phones when he dropped off our walnuts earlier. [Note to selves: lock up the valuables rather than leaving them unattended and in the room closest to the road!]

I forgot to mention another thing: I could envisage seeing various project managers in England, talking about estimates, costs, building reg.s & planning etc. But I don't imagine we'd come across restaurant critics! The double act, just before they were leaving, proceded to give us a (fairly long!) list of 3 star restaurants in the area! So much more interesting that costs per 1000 of bricks

26 October

Meeting with "Mr Laid-Back" - he was the more typical-looking philosopher: black pin-striped jeans, black shirt, black jacket, black wrap-round shades, pointy sideburns & flowing white hair. (Hell, what do I know about philosophers' sartorial habits; Nietsche may have bought off-the-peg suits from M&S and worn jumpers knit by his granny!)

The good news is:
At least we're not crying (yet?)...
The bad news is:
It's even worse than we thought!

How can that be? Well, till this morning, we didn't know the electrics were actually dangerous (not earthed; now particularly glad we came back the last time when we'd forgotten to turn the power off at the mains...). [Although John Knighton reckons it's not as dangerous as we'd been told - I'd need to stand in a bath of water holding an electric fan heater to be at risk; yes he's right, that is a horrible thought (probably why I'd edited it out!). Sorry for not making that clear (and hope it is now). But I don't know if there is an earth trip... Everything else seems to be done wrong!]

There is a glimmer of hope: we could take Dominique (D) to a tribunal that could order him to repay all the money we've given to him & then some more to pay to undo everything he's done before we start again from scratch.

As is necessary for every silver lining, there is a cloud: this will take a year, during which time we won't be able to do anything to the house. Well, at least it will give us loads of time to do a plan of action (17 or 3-point, depending on which maître d'œuvre we choose) and get quotes from different firms and draw up a contract!

Almost wish I hadn't started the garden; we could just drain down the water, lock the house & come back in 12 months, Napalm the yard & start the building works...

25 October

Finally got here at 4am - first the comedy of getting past 20 metres' worth of road works in Catford: 1¼ hours to go 5½ miles round the South Circular (I can walk faster)! Needless to say, there was no sign of anyone working... Then, bizarrely they "closed" the M20 between J11 & J12 - we spent 1 hour at a snail's pace (when not actually stationary) getting off at J11. We were anticipating massive roadworks - whole carriageway closed & "boys' toys" as far as the eye could see. Imagine our surprise when having finally got off the motorway [in 2 lines - the one on the left for lorries; the one on the right for cars], the police were directing all the lorries back onto the motorway just the other side of the roundabout! A lot of the lorries were in a much longer queue in the left-hand lane, so I bet it took some of them 2 hours to get off. We saw the M20 another couple of times before J12 and not sign of any roadworks. AT ALL. What was that all about??!

Deep joy, then, to have the usual trouble- (& virtually traffic-) free journey on the French motorways. [Remind me to explain why I love toll roads sometime!] Having made the bed, and put the food in the fridge, we got to bed at 4.30 (third time lucky getting the hire car to lock without the alarm going off 10 minute later!).

Thankfully, our first appointment wasn't till 3pm, so we stayed in bed till 11.45 (up in time for the Angelus!). A quick trip to the 'Champion' to get food & wine (and champagne, naturellement!) & rapidly consuming some bread & cheese and then we went to the house. [Thank you M. & Mme. Bouzenard for your wonderful gîte; staying in an unfurnished, and indeed unfinished, house is not fun when it's been as low as 6½°C there!]

We were picking up stray walnuts when M. Boyer ("Mr Efficient") arrived. I know that the French and English are very different, but it's often brought home to me how different after an absence... I was expecting a chap to detail (possibly with more minutiae than a mere mortal could stand?) what was OK; what was borderline; what was bad; how it could be fixed/whether it needed ripping out & starting from scratch. Also prepared for a disucssion of costs; timetables; schedules of works...

What I had forgotten was that Adam Smith was right: England is "a nation of shopkeepers"; that's one of the reasons why thousands of hardworking immigrants from the Asian sub-continent have integrated so well, and is probably reflected in our collective eBay usage!
It's true, we think in terms of buying & selling or service providing/usage (buying & selling by any other name!) - it's highly skilled commerce - even when I write a (rare) letter of complaint, I tend to focus on how the company can better serve their customer [and how kind I am in helping them achieve that - can I have a refund? ;-) ].

Conversely, the French are a nation of philosophers. I think that was rammed home today when “Mr Efficient” spent the first hour “conceptualising” (I’m sure I’ve got the right word!) outside, before even setting foot in the place. I swung (wildly) between liking his approach, being alienated & totally seeing the sense of what he was saying. Of course your use of a building (we tend to garden/be out of doors & come in to crash/hoover aperitifs; office workers may be away from their homes for a long time & want to spend their evenings looking at the garden) matters much more than whether the builder’s done a good job. I was expecting the mechanics to figure more highly, but hey-ho!; he was so much more Zen than I was expecting.

W.T.S.

Was on wagon; now off. Someone said something like “When you are happy, you don’t need champagne, it’s when you are down that you should drink it” [Wish I could remember who; I could Google it & get the quote right.]

As I said to “Mr Efficient”, half of me is sad the work is done so badly (he gave the building works 4/10, I reckoned 3, and the plumbing/electrics 2/10) & the other half is happy I wasn’t imagining it! At least I’m a good judge of quality…

There are times when a girl (particularly) misses her dad… :-(

Oh, I forgot to describe him: Brown stripy velvet jacket (“looks like carpet”, according to him indoors), red/maroon stripy shirt, brown trousers, brown boots. I liked it (very much, actually), but I know plenty of people (not all of them in the Biblical sense!) in the property business (game?) who might look down on brown (not to mention velvet!). Tant pis!

The good news is:
I was absolutely right (it’s always nice to have that confirmed, isn’t it?!)
The bad news is:
I was absolutely right – the work’s substandard & needs re-doing…

Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people who get pleasure out of saying “I told you so!”…

Previously: had an email from “Mr Efficient”, with, amongst other things, a 17-point plan of action!